Friday, January 11, 2008
#225. damnit.
This year is not starting off really well. First I got banded into an English class which I don't really have any close friends there.
Fine, I hid in the back of the class. Sms and what not. What else can I do? Pay attention? Well I can if the teacher doesn't talk like she's speaking to a class of ants instead a classroom full of students.
My gosh, Vin was not there, XY wasn't. Nor there were any close peeps.
It was like torture, I hope I can at least transfer to other bands? Vin's? XY's?
Their teachers are much more fun anyways. I won't miss anything there. Well, I just have to bear for it for 1 year won't I?
I feel like such a failure sometimes.
What have I got? Nothing!
Without my dad I won't even be here or studying. No money, no life, no nothing. I won't even fucking exist!
Without friends. Life's just going to be plain boring. No life. No fun. No secrets to share.
Do I excel in studies? Hell no.
I am not even interested in most of the subjects I take. They have little use to me.
Motto: Memorise for exams, unless you can use it everyday, then remember it well.
The only lesson I feel that is not so boring is D&T. Well, cos it involves practical work. It keeps me awake, but no, I don't really do well in it. I like that subject alot though, it's really interesting to me.
Physics lessons are getting better because of the teacher. He has a really fun way of teaching the lessons so... yarh, it's really nice too.
I feel like no one can understand me cos I don't even understand myself. Don't say you do, you asshole.
You can so jolly well be ME if you understand me better than myself.
I do things that it even surprise myself. I am not impressed though. I am just being angry with myself. I feel so worthless, and I don't feel like doing anything about it.
I realise at the end of the day, I HAVE NO ONE EXCEPT MYSELF. And my family memebers. If they don't want me also, then I have nothing else, nothing else at all.
...